House, Home, and Investment Items on eBay

You learn something new every day.

Whether you're looking to purchase or rent an Orlando Pool Home that's ten minutes away from Disneyland or you're looking to rent a timeshare in Mexico, eBay has that too.

While it was probably inevitable that it was going to get to this point, it requires a very, VERY significant leap of faith to be able to pull off. Considering that real estate values have been ballooning into large amounts that most people can't afford normally without credit, it might not be that much of a stretch. Somehow, I can't help but think of the lessons of history class, where the stock market collapsed due to stocks and shares being purchased with borrowed money.

It's somewhat frightening, actually, considering the ease at which this can be done. The trifecta of economic collapse is nearly complete...the energy crisis, the housing market, and the environment...oy...

DNA/ DRUG TESTING BUSINESS FOR SALE

Got $5000 kicking around? And, were you looking to get DNA Testing for yourself and all your friends for free? And, were you looking to see if your children have been taking drugs without your knowledge? If so, you to can be the proud owner of your very own DNA and Drug Testing Business (item #140080524479).

As much as the eBay seller insists that this is not a hoax, I can't help but question this. The distinctive lack of a feedback rating isn't doing much to boost my confidence either. But, here are a few questions I have...

• What am I getting for $5000? Equipment? Considering that a professional level centrifuge machine runs can run you several thousand, I'm guessing not. Facilities? Considering the price of real estate these days, I'm also guessing not. Advertising? Considering the price of television air time, I'm also guessing not.
• Doesn't one need a certain type of technical knowledge in order to do this?
• Why the heck is this guy selling this on eBay?

But on the plus side, he's offering free shipping.

Swarovski Crystals Makeup Cosmetic Compact Mirror

Does anything about this item (#140082047422) look familiar to you at all?

Several of the auctions put forth by this particular eBay seller are compact makeup mirrors that have "authentic Swarovski Crystal" embedded into the surface. But, at a glance, it has one of the most recognizable popular culture icons in existence. This fact is not mentioned in the auction at all.

As expected by all major corporations, Disney is absolutely merciless when it comes to protecting their trademarks. This had led to a significant amount of criticism of their business ethnics, especially when you consider their targets (usually small businesses that ultimately don't pose much threat), plus their own less-than-clean track records (i.e.: improper criminal record checks on Disneyland employees).

One only need to do some research to see how a small model building company was pressured into renaming their product "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" to "The Bellringer of Notre Dame" as a result of Disney's legal pressure, despite the fact that Dumas' tale is public domain.

This might explain why this product is not categorized as a Disney product, since the Mickey Mouse ears look pretty darned familiar. Counterfeit licensed merchandise is quite common in the flea markets of China, which also puts into question the level of authenticity of the Swarovski crystals , especially when the official Swarovski Cyrstal website prices a hair comb at over $100 CDN, several times what the initial auction is for a makeup compact.

"ROCK STAR" SECRET BOX - HOLLOW STORAGE BOOK. UNIQUE!

For those who just can't be bothered to do it themselves, this enterprising eBayer has something innovative (item #290054199133) for the paranoid book lover in your life. Provided that he/she happens to regularly read Jackie Collins novels.

Hollowed-out books for hidden storage purposes aren't really anything new, although I didn't realize that there existed a market for an item like this, especially since this can easily be done with a box cutter and a bit of patience. Whatever book you choose to use is up to you, provided that it's hardcover...you can use a thick tome like a Catholic Bible or the Complete Works of Shakespeare.

In the seller's other auctions, he/she refers to these books as the "poor man's safe," which is actually sorta funny, considering that for the price of a box cutter/exacto knife (approximately $5 or less) and a used hardcover book at the local used bookstore (on average $5 or less), putting up against $17.95 USD and $6 S/H, "poor man's safe" is sort of a misnomer.

But then, there is also the time consideration. Depending on the thickness of the book and the level of quality craftsmanship you are able to perform, $23.95 USD might not be such a bad deal. However, if you're lifestyle dictates that you don't rely on safety deposit boxes, $23.95 might be put to better use.

That, and you might want to be a little more selective about which book you choose to empty out. If this book sat in a shelf with slightly more "literary" selections (ie: not romance novels), it might be a dead giveaway.

100 George W. Bush Return Address Envelopes Style #2

For the first time ever, It Came form The (e)Bay gets political.

Feel like making enemies out of your Democrat friends? Feel like raising the ire out of your pen pal in the Middle East? Feel like scoring points with your Republican long-distance-relationship girlfriend halfway across the world? Feel like making sure that your mail gets tossed into the shredder by 54% of the American public (according to Fox opinion poll for January 30-31, 2007)?

Then, for the low, low, LOW price of $14.95 plus $4.50 shipping and handling, you too can be the proud owner of 100 copies of envelopes with George W. Bush's face on them (item #260081129581), customized with your own address, which will save you a fortune in return address labels.

As a Canadian, I can't really boast much knowledge about American politics, save for the fact that I really disagree with a lot of the things that have been happening, especially with the current situation in the Middle East and just the way that Bush Jr. conducts himself in the public eye on issues such as military spending, the environment, and trade, and just his overall perceived lack of charisma and intelligence.

But in terms of the much larger picture, there are a lot of things that are going unnoticed, such as the fact that Bush Jr. has actually put significantly more funding into alternative energy sources than his predecessor Bill Clinton. Plus, as much as some would believe that the Bush administration is absolutely clueless (especially with the negative backlash over Hurricane Katrina and the war in Iraq), if you ask me, they know exactly what they're doing.

Me, I think Bill Clinton was a much cooler president. Who cares if he misled the American public regarding his infidelity? We all know that politicians routinely lie about everything else!

Powell Furniture 292 Heirloom Cherry Jewelry Armoire

Now, a little lesson on economics, price, and deception on eBay.

Exhibit A (item #130072195672): Powell Furniture 292 Heirloom Cherry Jewelry Armoire. $169. Plus $50 shipping and handling. Total: $219.00

Exhibit B (from Homeandliving.com): Powell Furniture 292 Heirloom Cherry Jewelry Armoire. $219. Free ground shipping. Total: $219.00

Given the fact that eBay listings always tend to emphasize the purchase price, it is very easy for unsuspecting buyers to ignore the cost of shipping and duty (which is never calculated within eBay, as it always varies from location to location) and just blindly place a bid on an item, thinking that they are getting the most amazing deal.

If there is a lesson to be learned, is that there is nothing that is ever free, and if they are going to find a way to make you pay for something, they're going to find it.

With smaller sellers, it's often more difficult to recoup losses in case anything goes wrong. I'm still stinging from the time I purchased a berimbau (a bow-shaped musical rhythm instrument) which was "insured", and on which I spent $50 on "insured" shipping. When I received it, it was not packed according to specifications and was damaged. I contacted the seller and he would not honour it unless I paid him for more shipping. Punk.

BOXLIGHT CP 310t SANYO PLC XU35 2000 LUMEN XGA HDTV

Now THIS (item #300075391794) is funny.

When doing some research on PLC Repair for another client (that's PLC as in Programmable Logic Controller), I entered it into eBay to see if I could get any responses, and this is what it spat out: a non-functional Sanyo PLC XU35 2000 projector.

According to the seller, "This unit is in POOR functional condition and EXCELLENT cosmetic condition. It looks like new." Caveat emptor applies in large quantities here, and certainly, this seller is completely up-front and honest about this.

But, since when is there a market for a non-functional projector, especially when it's priced at $79.99? And that's not even the buy-it-now price!

I truly appreciate the vendor's honesty, I really do. But what are his motivations? And a better question: what would be the ideal user for a DEAD high-definition projector? There are certainly many uses, such as if a person was to need a non-functional prop for a film, or needed something that they'd be willing to destroy on camera, but at $79.99 (even without shipping), one is better off approaching a repair store or even the manufacturer to see if they can get a non-functional unit. Heck, even an electronics recycling depot. But, perhaps the piece might be salvageable for parts, which might be important to consider, when you learn that most modern electronics are cheaper to replace than repair, considering the per-unit costs of manufacturing.

But, with only 30 minutes left in his auction (as of this writing), I guess we'll never know.

PrincessDiana&Charles marriage coin presentation folder

Not so much as a bizarre item, but something that has really, really gone past its time. (item #190073980017)

When the company was doing the presentation folder printing for this product, I don't suspect that they would have any foresight as to the tumultuous life that the two people in the photo would have taken on. Heck, this item might have even had some value at some point, but considering the time that has since passed in both the divorce of Diana and Charles and her subsequent death, the number of bids on this particular item speaks for itself.

The item currently stands at 1.99 GBP (or $3.95 USD), which is probably several times the amount of the production costs of the item in question, but when Diana hype was at an all-time high, it could be speculated to went up accordingly. It's interesting that the eBay seller refers to this as "a nice memory." After all is said and done, it certainly appears to be exactly that.

"10 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT US" SCRAPBOOK MAILBOX GIFT

Just in time for Valentine's day, we have this cute item, to be used to celebrate the romantic ideals that are propagated by the likes of Hallmark and Hollywood. Oh, I'm sorry, am I bitter?

Jean-Paul Satre once said, "Hell is other people." I don't think he was talking about Valentine's Day, though.

Probably not something you'd necessarily see in a line of neighbourhood mailboxes, this particular eBay item is merely mailbox-shaped, and is a keepsake type item which has itty-scrap book thingies inside. It's cute, and for the right couple this would make a great gift to share.

Valentine's Day is probably the worst time of year for anyone who is single, and not by choice. I'm still thinking of the time when my sister and future husband were just dating several years ago. She's having the whole sappy-dappy, lovey-dovey conversation over the phone while the rest of my family is sitting down for dinner.

"HEY! WE'RE TRYING TO EAT HERE!"

Having kids maintain mailboxes before Valentine's Day is potentially one of the more damaging things that kids can undergo during their formative years and I'm actually sorta glad that the practice has been recognized as such, especially when you're one of those kids that don't get Valentine's cards. But, forcing kids to give to those who are socially maligned sends the wrong message as well.

With this level of bitterness, it's no wonder why I'm single.

40 UNUSUAL RUDE RISQUÉ BAD TASTE GREETING CARDS #1

After this (item #160076470499), I must say that I'm mildly disappointed. I could easily come up with much worse in terms of risqué, rude, or bad taste.

But still, this enterprising eBay merchant has three separate auctions for a lot of 40 tasteless greeting cards, most of which you probably wouldn't want to be sending to your mom. But, if you don't like your mom very much or if you have the coolest mom in the world (neither of these things apply), this might be right up your alley.

Me, I have a sense of humour when it comes to this stuff, so I would probably get a chuckle or two...provided that I haven't seen it before. The best (worst) one I've ever seen was a birthday card I gave to one of my best friends which depicted a guy hanging from a ceiling fixture and a doctor administering a prostate exam, hanging with his finger sticking out of the patient's rectum.

"Now, sir, if you'd relax, I'll kindly issue you a prescription for your inflamed prostate."

However, most folks might opt for the more tasteful option of printable greeting cards if they're sending the same Christmas card to a list of people on their list or even designing their own on their home computer. But, different strokes for different folks.

Inflamed prostate. Like everything else in life, it's funny if it doesn't happen to you.

Turtle Deer Kidney Tonic Pills Double Energy Supplement

Generally, I'm a little weary when it comes to eating or swallowing something that came through the mail, but considering that anything that you purchase through traditional (read: brick and mortar) retail outlets has traveled long distances to get there, it's probably not that much of a stretch.

But when you get a product that's called "Turtle Deer Kidney Tonic Pills," (item #250076411039) it makes me think twice. Again.

Perhaps this is the end result of the direct and literal translation between Chinese and English, but one woulda hoped that the person would've been able to come up with a better sounding name. And, considering the grammatical skills of the seller in question (the product is "HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!" [sic]), this probably shouldn't be surprising. But, it could be worse..."Pocari Sweat" anybody?

The main selling points behind this product are the purported health benefits. From the auction:

Strengthening tendons and bones, enriching qi(energy) and blood, tonic kidneys and strengthening yang. It is used to treat general weakness, weariness, aching pain and softness of the waist and knees, dizziness, deficient kidneys, cold semen, profuse night urination, seminal emission, forgetfulness and insomnia, infertility, men's reduced ability.

While I hesitate to speculate on what exactly they mean by "men's reduced ability," but this is another example of using Chinese mysticism to sell a product to unsuspecting gwai-lo (read: non-Chinese). While there are some reported health benefits of traditional Chinese medicine, much of the evidence is inconclusive, and possibly due to a placebo effect. Certainly, a panacea (read: silver-bullet cure-all) these things are not, although the general populace probably doesn't think so.

My mom was trying to get me into Chinese herbs and medicine, but most of the time it tastes like absolute dirt and makes me feel even worse, although that's probably the end result of the taste more than anything else. This was the same person who got me an energy supplement in a can called "Red Rave" (a cheap Red Bull knockoff), thinking that it was supposed to assist in exercise.

I had to explain to her that it's what college students use to pull all-nighters because of the high concentration of caffeine, at which she offered to take it back to the store, but I told her that I'd use it. And use it I did.

I recall reading an article referencing interest in Chinese culture in the Western world, pointing to cultural re-appropriation such as interest in Japanese animation, the popularity of martial arts, and tattoos in Hanzi and Katana/Kanji (Chinese and Japanese) characters. As the article quips, "If this crap originated in Germany, no one would care." Heh.

EXTRA LARGE WOOD ROSARY 66"LONG-HAND MADE, WEAR/HANG

Now this auction (item #300072112461) is actually sorta neat.

Completely discounting the fact that most people would probably opt for regularly sized rosaries that could fit in the pocket, be worn around the neck, or be held in the hand, this eBay seller is selling what could quite possibly be the largest rosary ever made.

Throughout my years in Catholic school, I was taught that this was a religious symbol that was to be held sacred, so I'm not sure that hanging it off a door is going to necessarily score many points with the more secular eBay users, but dang, that thing is huge. But, I can actually think of a few groups that might be interested in such a large item, like if a church just happened to have a really large statue of The Virgin Mary nearby, at which point they might be able to use it as a decoration.

But, given the time it has been since I stepped foot in church for anything else apart from a funeral or a wedding, I can't really say for sure. But, I do love how the eBay seller recommends potential uses for it - as a conversation piece or worn by a tall person. In order for this to not hit the floor, I'm guessing that the person would have to be at least 7' tall.

NEW CUTE 2 PC LASER KISS ME I'M IRISH ITALIAN CHARM

Just in time for Saint Patrick's Day, we have the perfect gift for the Irish lad or lass in your life: a gift that was originally designed in Italy, more than likely manufactured in China.

From the minor research that I did (I got lazy so I just wiki'ed it), I have learned that the Italian Charm Bracelet (item #260079358792) was supposedly brought from Europe after World War 2 and then started showing up again in the 1990s, where a demand was created and more modern designs were created.

With cultural re-appropriation in an increasingly multicultural society, I suppose this was inevitable, although I would assume that traditional "Irish Gifts" would be more appreciated by someone for whom St. Patrick's Day holds much more significance.

I'm just wondering what happens if the charm bracelet fails to evoke a response (like the eBay auction indicates that this item is "sure to do"). At least it doesn't guarantee it will generate more kisses (the desired response...provided that they are coming from the right people), as it'll likely garner the seller a negative rating if that fails to occur.

Dic a Doo Paint Brush Bath 1950's Eames in Original Box

Indeed, at eBay, you can get something for the person who has just about everything. However, it'd have to be a very, very specific person to get full appreciation out of something like this (auction #7246190675). Especially when it's described as "still has some of the original contents inside."
For the Buy-It-Now price of $4.99 and the shipping cost of $6.00, you can be the proud owner of a vintage Paint Brush Bath kit.

The oddly-named 1950's company Dic-A-Doo appears to have been a paint accessories company, although a search of Google reveals absolutely nothing, except more eBay auctions, which also happen to be trying to unload Dic-A-Doo paint accessories.

As to whom is putting bids on this item? So far, the seller has provided the option of the "Buy it Now," so there are no bids on this product. If they were, I can only assume that they aren't people who are involved in professional house painting, although $10.99 is tough to beat for a vintage product that still has "some of the original contents inside." However, when $0.10 (in 1950) is adjusted for inflation (for 2007), it's only about $0.84. That, and for a few extra bucks, you can probably get a fully functional brush cleaning kit that has ALL of the original contents inside.

But, you know what they say about trash and treasure.

SONY PLAYSTATION 3 60GB PS3 PS 3 NIB - FREE SHIPPING!!!

With large capital letters like this, who can possibly resist?

Caveat Emptor are the words of the day, when the shopping and internet savvy know how to sniff rhetoric right away, while the fool and his or her money go in opposite directions.

This enterprising eBay seller is auctioning off a PlayStation 3 video game console with 60 GB hard drive for the whopping price of $1995.00. It's a little high, especially when compared to the MSRP of $599.
You have to admire the eBay seller's restraint, especially when you consider that when these first hit the streets in November, some were going as high as $2300 USD. And yes, most on-line retailers are sold out (Future Shop, Best Buy, possibly Electronics Boutique), but considering that it's been almost two months, couldn't they just let it rest? Like, just a little? I mean, heck, they didn't even include games or an HDMI cable (or any other accessories for that matter).

When I mean "rhetoric," I'm referring to their tactic of using a charity to persuade the reader to follow the course of action (that is, pony up $1995 on a video game console). Following the links to the charity who is supposed to be benefiting from this auction, it indicates that they are a non-profit organization.

But, considering that they're only receiving 10% of the total proceeds ($199.50), that means that the seller is still netting a profit of around $1000 (even if shipping happens to be over $100).

This sort of undermines the whole charity angle, considering that somebody will most likely making money off of this (but it definitely isn't Sony...allegedly, the manufacturing costs of one PS3 is $840.35). But, since there's also the option of "Or Best Offer," any enterprising and savvy consumer may opt to lowball the auction in the hopes of getting it.

And then I found this auction for a PS3 with a 60GB drive. $20,000. Twenty-frickin'-thousand dollars. According to the story he has attached to the auction, he's going to use the money to go back to school. I'm sorry, but I really don't have a lot of sympathy for greed, especially when he says up front: "I bought this Playstation 3 60GB off ebay about three weeks ago, in the hopes of selling it on ebay for more than I paid."

my autograph on a business card...

After a long hiatus, It Came From The (e)Bay makes its long anticipated return, where I deconstruct all eBay auctions...silly, obscure, and bizarre.

Which brings me to the first item up for bid.

For the low, low, LOW price of $25 and 39 cents shipping and handling, you can be the proud owner of a scribble on a piece of paper from somebody that you don't know. It appears that Mr. Church is aspiring to be the next big name in fashion design.

So, if he turns out to be the next Calvin Klein, Gianni Versace, or Donna Karin, maybe this will be worth the $25 Buy It Now price.

Oh please? Can I?

This eBay auction (item #200070662239) appears to be an experiment to prove that just about anything can sell on eBay, so this guy is selling a homemade business card with his own autograph on it. With two days left, it's certainly starting to look like he's about to be proven wrong. As of this writing (January 23, 21:48 PST), there are no bids and he has yet to meet his minimum reserve.

According to his auction entry, he intends to use the proceeds from the sale to pay for professional business card printing. Looks like he'll be printing them on his home computer like the rest of us. That is, if he can even afford that.

The Worst Movie I've Ever Seen In My Life...

As a one-time movie buff, I haven't gotten a chance to see all the movies I would have liked to. However, I do know what I like and what I don't like. I don't often agree with movie critics think about good movies (Brokeback Mountain was not nearly as good as the critics made it out to be) and bad movies (for all of its faults, Resident Evil is one of the better video game-to-film adaptations to date).

This led me to a writing position with the now-defunct Test Pattern, which eventually morphed into the screenwriting resource website, Screenwriter's Voice (the webmasters Dayna Van Buskirk and Reg Seeton have moved onto other things and they no longer update the site). During my time with those sites, I have gotten to review movies by the handful, which include some really good ones and some really awful ones.

Somehow, this little gem managed to slip by my radar.

The eBay seller purchased a VHS copy of Emperor of the Bronx from a dollar store and is now trying to get rid of it. Starting at a whopping $0.01 (the item already has one bid on it), the seller is seriously taking a loss on it (although the $5 shipping charge seems a little bit suspect). On the plus side, the seller is extremely honest as to his opinion of the film and even admits why he bought it.

A quick look at the film's Internet Movie Database page indicates the star power behind this film. That is to say, not much. None of the actors starred in anything memorable in the past few years, although the director Joseph Mehri did co-produce on a few mainstream hits, such as Alex and Emma and The Whole Ten Yards.

This is a film that went direct-to-video, which leaves me questioning as to how this market can sustain itself, when these films are of such poor caliber that no one is going to want to watch them. Either that, or someone is is actually watching these things and they're buying them all. Or, they're bought and paid for by government agencies and used in torture methods.

Related Links:

Troma Entertainment: This is the official website for Troma, best known for their B-movie releases such as The Toxic Avenger and Tromeo and Juliet. The studio is best known for giving up-and-coming talents their first shot, including James Gunn (writer of Scooby Too: Monsters Unleashed and the upcoming Slither) and Marisa Tomei (who had a cameo in The Toxic Avenger). They're also the studio that released Emperor of the Bronx. Their website is a bit of a headache, as it forces you to listen to Calimari Safari's "Poultrygeist" until you navigate to a different point in the page. Not exactly the prettiest page either, but then, it's what you'd expect from the studio that puts out films like this.

The Internet Movie Database: An absolute necessity for any movie buff, it has comprehensive information and links on just about every movie imaginable. Functional and well designed, it contains message boards for discussing your favourite movies (although beware of the spoilers!), movie reviews (both professional and user submitted), and trivia. If there are any problems with the site, it's that the bulk of the information is user-submitted, and therefore subject to inaccuracies.

THE WORST AUCTION OF ALL EBAY

I don't know what's worse: the fact that someone is auctioning off something regurgitated by their pet, or the fact that someone already put a bid on it. One thing is for certain, though: the seller was not kidding when he billed this "The Worst Auction of All eBay."

According to the site, the dog's owner discovered a regurgitated dog toy belonging to his other dog. He is selling the toy (cleaned up, thankfully), along with photos of his dogs. Proceeds will go to buy a larger toy for his dog, as well trips to the veteranarian.

While his devotion to his pet is admirable, I really can't say anything more about this auction, except, EWWWWWW.

Related links:

PetSmart.com: A large retailer of pet supplies (food, acquariums, books, etc.), they offer many items online and in store. This is a comprehensive site which offers just about everything one would need for their pet, is fairly well designed, although may be a little bit intimidating for those who are new to the 'net. Their store locator is a bit of a pain and is hard to read, especially if you're trying to find a location in the Lower Mainland area (the little dots that represent store locations are really little).

SPCA: Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (BC branch): This site a bit of a headache to read and attempts to cram way too much information into a single page. The navigation bar certainly helps, although the webmaster could have stood to make the fonts a little bit bigger and more readable.

Discover How to Beat the Gas Pump Monster - Save Money

Due to tensions in the middle east, increased demand around the world, and the fact that we're on the verge of running out, conventional oil is being pushed towards the dreaded $100/barrel mark. Most people don't seem to realize how deeply ingrained crude oil is towards our lives (food production, plastics, healthcare) and are only worried by how much it ends up costing when filling up.

So, available for a low-low-LOW price of $4.95 USD is 62 Ways to Beat the Gas Pump Monster!, an e-Book available by .PDF, which promises useful hints on how to lower your gas costs.

These days, $4.95 doesn't buy that much gas, but considering that a lot of the tips the writer is offering are already common knowledge, I'd rather be spending that money on gas. By now, we pretty much all know that rough accelleration and braking, unnecessary weight, idling, cold weather, car maintenance, tire pressure, cold weather, and stop and go driving all have an effect on fuel efficiency. But you don't need $4.95 for that...just Google it.

However, that isn't what makes this particular eBay auction bizarre. The fact that the eBayer used a picture of a woman in a thong bending over to attract potential customers is.

Related links:

10 Ways to Lower the Cost of Driving: This has a little more legitimacy for me than some unknown eBayer, as it's written by the fine folks at Consumer Reports. Hosted by Yahoo.com, the site is readable, professionally designed, and comprehensive.

Life After the Oil Crash: Matt Savinar runs this blog that deals with the long-term consequences of permanent oil depletion. This is really scary stuff, as it talks about everything from government control, environmental degredation, and the socio-economic impact, all of which Savinar predicts we'll be seeing really soon. A fairly readable site and easy to navigate, but expect to NOT sleep after reading it.

Not quite Jordan's silicon breast implants

If this isn't illegal, it should be.

One enterprising eBayer is selling a set of used breast implants on eBay. Never mind the fact that this is completely disgusting and probably immoral, but what the is the average sane person person going to do with these things once they receive them in the mail? They're no longer sterile, so they're not suitable for re-implantation. However, it might make for an interesting paperweight. A real conversation piece. Or, a real conversation stopper.

The eBayer in question doesn't exactly have the best grammar and spelling (there is at least one run-on sentence and the writer uses the word "loose" instead of "lose"), which really makes me question the validity of this auction. In addition, the eBayer hasn't even posted photos of "herself" (the eBayer's user name is "mikeblues101", although admittedly, picking a male pseudonym may be used to avoid unwanted comments), instead using a photo of Katie "Jordan" Price, who is doing the same thing.

According to the auction page, the eBayer is modelling "her" auction off of a similar stunt by the said former Page 3 Girl who retired her status after extensive plastic surgery (models who appear in The Sun tabloid must be silicone and saline free). Price is best known for her outrageous antics, constantly chronicled in the UK tabloids, although she remains relatively unknown in North America (except for regular readers of Playboy magazine), but she is retiring her "Jordan" persona (she uses that pseudonym when modelling), having given birth to two children. As part of the reinvention of herself, she's having her breast implants removed and she's having the proceeds from the eBay sale donated to charity.

This goes to show...while some people will buy anything, there are a number of people who'd be willing to sell a lot more than just that. Or, at least put up an eBay page about it.

related links:

Jordan's official fanclub website (WARNING/PROMISE: contains adult content). The official website for Katie "Jordan" Price requires you to part with your credit card number and some personal information before granting access to all the material (although promises that will only cost 50p per week). The site is fairly easy to navigate and is professionally designed, although it is only useful for people who are into that sort of stuff. However, without membership, you are able to buy merchandise whether it be posters or signed magazines. The most amusing piece of merchandise from the site is a novelty breast-shaped stress ball.

Awful Plastic Surgery. This is a blog that chronicles the plights of the rich and famous and what they do to their bodies. Divided into helpful categories such as "Bad Boob Job," "Scary Celebrities," and "Oops, I Messed Up My Face," it serves as a cautionary tale as to the consequences of the attempt to find the perfect body and face. Some of it is really scary as it shows what happens when things go really wrong. As it doesn't advertise a specific product, to ensure continued bandwidth, the site owner allowed "Ads by Google" on the site. However, given that the ads are based on keywords featured in the text, all of these ads are for plastic surgery, which is odd, considering the overall anti-plastic surgery mandate that the site appears to take.