Super Bowl 9 PSA TICKET Steelers Vikings Superbowl IX

Slightly more believable in the trash-and-treasure file, we have stubs for Superbowl tickets, slightly more believable, considering that professional sporting events generally have a lot more relevance to a lot more people than, oh, say, furniture ads from 40-year-old magazines.

Some of these are very serious collectors items for sports fans. I remember collecting hockey cards when I was younger, and how certain cards such as rookie cards for important players would fetch more significant funds. But, another factor was the card's condition. And, considering the time in which I was regularly buying hockey cards, some of these cards were produced in such large quantities, that any sort of damage or wear and tear was unacceptable, considering how easy it was to obtain a new one.

The damage on this piece of merchandise is quite obvious, even through the photo, but given the rarity of this item (number produced vs. number in circulation), would probably make the price tag somewhat justifiable. But only if you're a football fan.

PAY FOR PERFORMANCE George Milkovich 1991 SC

How can a book have come out 16 years ago and still be sold as "new"?

Actually entitled "Pay for Performance," the book is probably a really useful tool for those in human resources, supervisors, bosses - basically anyone who pays people to work for them. But, since the book came out well before the online age, much of the information is likely far out of date, while the dollar values that would be discussed are in 1991 values. Given the rates of inflation and the state of the job market, I would expect that this would have to be updated on an annual basis, but doesn't seem to matter for this seller.

After all, when the eBay seller calls herself "DesperateDiva", and with a feedback rating in the 3000s, I don't think it matters to her either.

AUDEMARS PIGUET Royal Oak Sports Cap Hat

Does anybody else remember that episode of Friends where Joey buys a bunch of Ferrari merchandise like a keychain, a baseball hat, and a jacket in order to convince people that he's the owner of an actual Ferarri car?

After perusing eBay for Audemars Piguet watches and looking at the actual prices for some of these watches (some of which are more the price of a new luxury car), it very much appears that this may be the lowest price item up for bid.

Not to fret, however. If you don't want to be quite like Joey, you can still bid on one of the lower priced watches...if you just happen to have $1000 in spare change kicking around.

Short Bed Roll-Top Toneau Top + System One Ladder Rack

Anybody else thinks that this guy got greedy?

I understand the psychology behind having reserves on items, reserves being the minimum dollar amount that the seller will be willing to move the item for. If the person simply just sets the starting bid at the reserve price, then there will be less incentive on the part of the prospective buyer to bid on the item.

But, when the guy puts the "buy it now" price at $1550 (almost 3x the starting bid), it gets a little bit suspect.

This guy is selling a used ladder rack for a 2003 Dodge Dakota, which he claims was "purchased new," although that doesn't really make a lick of difference if was purchased new back then, because the prospective buyer will be purchasing it used right now. Good luck, buddy.

1919 Antique Real Estate ad Miami Fl Clearwater Dora Lk

Latest in the line of the trash and treasure series, someone is selling an ad clipping promoting a Miami real estate company from 1919.

This company has probably long-since passed to the annals of business statistics (and if I had the spare time to go out and do the research, I would find that out for sure). I'm really curious as to how this publication has managed to survive for so long in someone's basement, although it may indicate that it belonged to a person who really had a hard time letting go of stuff, which is why we tend to see so many of these types of things going on eBay. With zero bids and only a buy-it-now price, items like these are commonly tossed onto eBay without much care and attention, using more of a shotgun approach to sell.

However, if you are looking for actual real estate, eBay may not be the best place to look, considering the level of customer service you may or (probably) not receive.

Denver Park Lane Motel and Hotel Ad Brochure Now Condos

Unfortunately, it's the cheapest item that is available when you type in "Condo Hotels." And, it very much looks like something that a person managed to dig up when they were cleaning up their apartment and tried to make some quick cash off of it. Yes, they're selling a pamphlet, with artwork on the front that looks like it was done by an elementary school student.

This makes up a very large percentage of the auctions you see on eBay, where something that otherwise holds no value for most normal people, but someone is just putting the feelers out there to see if there'll be anyone who sees value in it.

Given the use of the old-style font and the actual type-written text on the inside, this is definitely an authentic relic from the times. But, is it worth anything? For whoever would want an item of such for framing purposes, it's absolutely priceless. Plus $2.50 s/h.

BIG HERBERT 56" INFLATABLE "ALL THE WAY" GOLF CLUB NIP

Somehow, I managed to be the FIRST person to view this auction.

Not really the kind of golf clubs that you'd expect to bring with you at the local 18 hole course, this seller is offering an inflatable golf club. Under the category of "gag gifts," its use is quite self-explanatory, although the seller does go on to add the disclaimer, "Novelty Use Only."

I'm just trying to recall that golfer who did all sorts of really wacky tricks with a standard golf club and a ball, but somehow I don't think this tool would make it into his arsenal.

TRAVELPRO COMFORT IN A BAG TRAVEL KIT BLANKET MASK ETC.

Never mind the fact that this product comes in a BOX rather than an actual BAG, but this seller is offering a Travelpro brand travel accessories kit, known as "Comfort in a Bag."

Even for people who do like to travel, air travel can be really hard on the body. Being crammed into a tiny seat for an 18 hour flight is enough to cause deep vein thrombosis for some people (a potentially life threatening condition), cruddy airline service, and then there's also the rude customers, kids smacking their seats into yours, and so on. That, and none of these amenities are provided by airlines anymore, especially since the rising costs of fuel are causing them to cut back significantly on services. However, notice the ridiculous profits that they are still posting. Hmm...

This bag is missing a lot of things for the more jaded traveler, such as sleeping pills, a bottle of tequila, a dirty magazine, and a box of condoms.

SHOCKING UTILITY KNIFE razor blade blades shock joke

Designed for people that just don't pay attention, it's yet another gag item that's designed to deliver an electrical shock, but is disguised as an everyday object. In this, case, box cutters.

A closer look at the packaging artwork will reveal the words "Made in China," and given the recent news headlines about children's toys being laced with lead or having small magnetic buttons that break off and are swallowed, could give a few people cause for alarm. On the plus side, this could mean it could give a person a much bigger jolt than anticipated (okay, maybe not such a good thing).

I've always been more partial to the calculators or LCD gaming devices that squirt water at the unwitting victim myself.

The 100 Best Treatment Centers for Alcoholism and Drug

eBay can also be a good source for hard-to-find and out of print books from a variety of topics ranging from literature to things on finding drug treatment centers. I wasn't even sure of this myself until I looked it up and, surely enough, there's an actual book entitled The 100 Best Treatment Centers for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse. The seller is offering it for a whopping $99.99, which is about 5 cents more expensive than what one seller is offering on Amazon.com.

Dropping around $100 for a book is always tough, unless it happens to be a nice hardbound edition or a college level textbook (which will become outdated in under a year), but considering that this book is almost 20 years old (the book was printed in 1988), I really can't see the value, considering that businesses are known to change everything from contact information to location. Sure, drug treatment and rehabilitation can be the best step one can take to getting their life back on track, and is definitely worth the time and travel for a good facility. But, wouldn't something a little more recent be in order?

1970s Teen Drug Treatment & Rehab Program Films

Not quite Reefer Madness, this seller is offering a series of videos about drug rehabilitation and treatment. While debate may rage endlessly about the use of decriminalization and education as opposed to outright ban and prohibition, videos like these are truly reflective of the time in which they were produced. Today, they prompt comedic response.

For example, "This film explores the life of a 30 something man who is trying to recapture control over his hippie lifestyle."

These would truly be collector's items had they been in their original format, but since the original formats are becoming increasingly outdated, this might be a tough sell. However, something like this might be a big hit at parties.

BOTOX® Highlighter--SYRINGE Shaped--Drug-Pharmaceutical

I can guess that we can be grateful that there are SOME level of moral values on eBay. While pharmaceuticals and supplements are huge on eBay, looking for Botox for headaches (although last I checked, they're supposed to be used for headaches) yields plenty of "Botox alternatives" and Botox related material (t-shirts, books, pens), but thankfully, no syringes full of botulism toxin, or worse yet, fake botulism in a syringe.

I'm suddenly thinking of that episode of Nip/Tuck where disgraced plastic surgeon Dr. Bobolit was administering fake Botox injections, causing disfiguring injuries to his victims.

DOWNLOAD-SUBLIMINAL REAL ESTATE SUCCESS-BROKER INVESTOR

Weren't subliminal messages questioned for their efficacy a few years back, well after the PMRC rose a huge stink about backwards masking, and how listening to music would make you go out and worship Satan? (yenom erom ecniV evig)

This one guy is selling subliminal MP3s that are designed to help you sell real estate. Digital download, so it literally costs the guy nothing to make. Regardless of the fact that subliminal messaging is not as effective as they make it out to be, I'm still thinking this guy is a bit sketchy. I mean, does this sound right to you when he says...

"If you do want feedback, just leave me a positive and my service will automatically mirror your feedback ( positive for positive, neutral for neutral, negative for negative)."

So, if you feel that you've been ripped off by this guy and leave appropriate feedback, he'll leave you negative feedback just out of spite, even when you paid in full? Nice way to protect your feedback rating, jerk.

INGERSOLL RAND REFRIGERATED AIR DRYER COMPRESSOR TOOL

Could it be? A rarity on eBay? An item where they're not actually going to try to rip you off on shipping?

This gentleman is selling a used piece of machinery from Ingersoll Rand air tools and is pretty honest about the condition, with one minor caveat - you gotta pick it up yourself. Judging from the photos, it is not a lightweight piece of machinery, so something like that would likely be really expensive to ship.

I'm still remembering how I wanted to buy a video game from a local seller who REFUSED to do local shipping, even though we both live within the same area code. Sheesh! For that, there's Craigslist.

EverHEALTHY Colon Cleanse Digest Detox : Lose Weight!!

I don't know about you guys, but I can think of many more pleasant images that one could use to sell a product. In the case of this eBay user, using fear tactics to sell a product will likely result in LOSS of sales.

This eBayer is selling a colon cleanse product which is supposed to remove excess waste from the human body. The seller indicates that the photo of the guy on the left is not actually fat, but all that backed up crap in his system.

Much of this holistic healing stuff is great in theory, but sounds pretty outlandish. If a person was that loaded up with crap, they would likely be having a myriad of health problems, with weight loss being the least of their worries.

Mind you, if everybody just ate properly, we wouldn't be having half of the health problems that we're having now.

And now a word from our sponsor...

When looking up intranet software on eBay, the only thing I could get any response from was a product called "Netmanage Newt Intranet ActiveX 5.1." There is no description of the software in the listing, and when I googled it to see if there was anything, all of the hits I found on google were links to more eBay auctions.

Like businesses will want to be going on eBay for all of their network solutions. Considering what businesses need, like hosting, CMS, business e-mail, and the like...none of those are even mentioned on the eBay listing. However, other companies are available that offer networking solutions, such as this post's sponsor.

1968 Dodge Charger Facts Features Manual Sales Brochure

Next, filed under "One Man's Trash...", we have Dodge Charger Accessories. Or more appropriately, Dodge Charger memorabilia.

This is something that's truly only for the die hard collector, as it ultimately serves no purpose today, given the actual number of 1968 Dodge Charger RTs on the city streets. Something like this would have been given away for free way back then, and yet the seller is offering it for a starting bid of $9 plus $5.45 s/h.

Panties Vibrator Panty sexy lingerie remote control

What WILL they think of next!
Sure, it's about as useful as putting an eject button on a remote control (considering that you gotta actually get up to remove the disc/tape/whatever), but hey, who woulda thought about it...REMOTE CONTROL PANTIES?!

Just to keep it PG13, this is a piece of sexy lingerie with a built-in and removable...uh...nerve stimulator which can be operated via remote. While they don't show how small the actual device is, the description indicates that it's small enough to be embedded discreetly, so that a woman can have her distraction from her boring work day if so inclined.

Okay, that wasn't part of the sales pitch, but it'd be one possible use for it. My first instinct was that this could be used to spice up the bedroom activities of an adventurous young couple, but hey, whatever works.

TechCraft PTV48 Home Theater Furniture AS-IS

Home Theater Furniture can be had for all sorts of great prices, although with everything, it's always worth doing your research. In this case, the seller has attempted to include as much detail as humanly possible, but you can tell that it's some liquidation company that's selling it because they just don't have the resources or time to go into detail on the individual item. If it were a private seller, they can usually answer all of your questions on the item, but one cannot be guaranteed any sort of customer service if something goes wrong.

Topeka, Kansas 1939 High School Graduation Announcement

Objects of minimal value seem to pop up repeatedly in eBay, once again proving the adage, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Value is largely determined by supply and demand, and while some items may be extremely rare, what if the market for the item simply doesn't exist?

Take this item, for instance, graduation announcements from a high school in 1939. A person who graduated from high school in 1939 would be over eighty years old. Given the average lifespan of most people today, that would mean that the people most likely to benefit from this product would already have passed on by now. An average high school graduating class can number in the hundreds. The number of surviving alumni from Topeka, Kansas 1939?

If I had the spare time, I'd look it up. But, why do I have the distinct suspicion that this was a leftover item from a person's estate?

Topeka, Kansas 1939 High School Graduation Announcement

Objects of minimal value seem to pop up repeatedly in eBay, once again proving the adage, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Value is largely determined by supply and demand, and while some items may be extremely rare, what if the market for the item simply doesn't exist?

Take this item, for instance, graduation announcements from a high school in 1939. A person who graduated from high school in 1939 would be close to a hundred years old. Given the average lifespan of most people, that would mean that the people most likely to benefit from this product would already have passed on by now. An average high school graduating class can number in the hundreds. The number of surviving alumni from Topeka, Kansas 1939?

If I had the spare time, I'd look it up. But, why do I have the distinct suspicion that this was a leftover item from a person's estate?

MOOSE LOG NIGHTSTAND END TABLE CABIN LODGE ANTLERS DEER

Doing some bedroom furniture shopping on eBay? Well, look no further. Okay, if you have any level of class or sense of design, you may probably want to look further. But, if you're fancying yourself a domestic Daniel Boone, take a closer look.

Understandably, as the seller, he/she is going to extol all of the virtues of the product, imagined or not. I thought it was kinda cool how they were able to find a cell phone which looked equally rustic as the table itself.

The seller does recommend that it can be used to store AMMO, though. Looks like the Daniel Boone archetype has been replaced with Cletus from The Simpsons.

KITCHEN SINK PRESS POCKET PINUPS SET

Kitchen sinks? No, kitchen sink. As in Kitchen Sink Press.

Kitchen Sink Press was one of the many casualties of the speculator boom of the mid-90s, where Marvel's acquisition of Heroes World meant that comic book publishers had to go exclusive with one publisher in order to stay afloat. By purchasing a low-level comic book distributor, they forced the other comic book publishers to go with either Diamond or Capital City distributors. Major players DC, Dark Horse, and Image ended up staying with Diamond, whereas Kitchen Sink went with Capital City.

Now, Diamond is the only comic book distributor in town, with a major monopoly. Kitchen Sink is no longer producing comic books...and now their stuff sells on eBay for cheap.

Murray Feiss

Finding things on eBay such as Murray Feiss lighting can yield tons of results, so finding a good match is tough. Prices are extremely variant, which may indicate either a lack of legitimate items on eBay or strong buying power on the part of sellers. It's hard to say, when somebody purports to sell something for 1/3rd of retail price (ie: $25 for a lamp that retails for over $100) while somebody else is selling a wall mirror for $300, it gets a little confusing. Bid with CAUTION, not confidence, folks.

THE ORLEANS HOTEL & CASINO LAS VEGAS $1 2005 ISSUE

So, $1 = $1.99 + $2.25 shipping and handling?

I've never understood the concept of selling souvenirs online, as they are usually supposed to commemorate the time when you were actually there in the Orleans Hotel Las Vegas. (I hate these weird string keyword assignments, I really do.)

I'm guessing that they're attempting to appeal to collectors, but methinks that they're just trying to clean out their apartments and want to make a profit. Hence, the big garage sale that is eBay. Bid away, guys.

Opportunity in Brazil : Registered Consulting Business

Could it be? Use of the words "business opportunity" and it's not spam?

Okay, never mind the fact that eBay probably one of the least secure ways to start ones own business, or get a business from someone else. But, considering the fact that the majority of the uses of the word usually involve some e-document that will supposedly teach you the secrets of successfully running (or ruining) your own business. This is an actual rarity, where they are offering the kind of things necessary for a business, such as office equipment, an actual office, and even insurance.

This will be taking place entirely in Brazil, which is on its way to becoming a major economic power (if not already there), although it's considered a bit of a high-risk and volatile market by many investors. As always, caveat emptor.

However, I do find it amusing that they still offer buyer protection via Paypal. Up to $200 buyer protection. For an item that's $39,999.99, the words "drop in the bucket" come to mind.

FURNITURE PECS CARDS ~ 20 CARDS ~ AUTISM SPEECH DELAY

Language and other skills are tough to learn for most people, let alone people with cognitive and learning disabilities. For them, we language cards to assist in learning.

However, for this particular auction, the seller is marketing flash cards depicting furniture (it doesn't go into specifics, like dining room furniture), and it's a noble thing to do, especially since autistics have a really hard time going through life in general.

The seller is making these from scratch and has touted how high quality the product is,
although I wonder how much we can trust the seller when he/she is selling cards with pictures of "furniture," yet the accompanying image shows a picture of an APPLE.

Dayak Headhunter Head Hunter War Trophy Human Skull 2

You want ugly? eBay has got ugly.

Typically, trophies are highly individualized items, or sometimes quick, cheesy tokens with no special value apart from something that you just put on your shelf. Hunting trophies are slightly different, though, although this goes into the truly cheesy.

Being that you're buying this on the Internet, it's obviously fake and plastic, and it appears to be a mass-produced item, although the seller seems to see this as a "quality item."

SPO CHECKMATE 1000 Fingertip/Finger Pulse OXIMETER NEW

While it's not hard to find a pulse oximeter on eBay, always pay attention to the fine print, especially when it comes to purchasing stuff that is subject to rules and regulations that you probably wouldn't think that much of. Even though the auction purports this item to be ideal for athletes and pilots, there's a little disclaimer halfway through the auction...

The following is a mandatory eBay declaimer for ALL medical device sold on eBay. You are free to purchase this finger pulse oximeter. "The sale of this item may be subject to regulation by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and state and local regulatory agencies. If so, do not bid on this item unless you are an authorized purchaser. If the item is subject to FDA regulation, I will verify your status as an authorized purchaser of this item before shipping of the item."

The plus side, they're probably not going to rip you off, although it's still something worth considering before making your purchase on eBay.

New FLOATY PEN-RARE For ENLIVE! Nutritional Supplement

Thankfully, eBay will recognize commonly misspelled words and typos such as "nurtitional supplements" (as opposed to "nutrition supplements"), and make the appropriate correction. So lo and behold, what does it spit out?

One particular item is for a ballpoint pen promoting a nutritional supplement store, or some other supplement supplier. Me, I think he's getting greedy, considering that these pens are routinely dispensed like candy at trade shows and conventions, and considering that they don't necessarily produce any higher quality ink than the free pens that you swipe from the hotels or the ones that you swipe from work.

For 99 cents? You can get pens for cheaper. Uh...try FREE.

Ring For Service Counter Call Bell Hotel Desk Reception

This is a fairly standard item, but for under $10, you can get get standard equipment that you'd find at reception desks. More specifically, a ring-for-service bell.


While the seller purports to sell items that are "unusual and hard-to-get", this is something that you can usually find in any Staples/Office Depot. But, it's notable how they market this particular item -- as it's something that's used to gain an edge in a married relationship.

I'm a firm believer that everyone should do their part in any sort of relationship based on one's abilities. For example, it would be fairly unreasonable to ask someone who doesn't know how to cook to do so, but would be fair for the other things (laundry, vacuuming, etc.), and thankfully, the seller is not intending this to be a serious auction.

As the seller notes: "Why strain your voice with yelling or nagging when you can ring the bell as a signal to bring food or as a reminder that work needs to be done?" The seller signs off with, "Not recommended by marriage counselors." Good call.

PALM SIZE YR 1904 SEXY GENIE POWERFUL JADE ANTIQUE LAMP

Okay, when they say "lamp," it's not exactly something for home lighting. No, these are oil lamps, used way before the age of electricity. But, this isn't what the seller's intent is.

The seller has several different images of different products, making it somewhat difficult to track down what the product is supposed to be. The seller claims that it will have wish-granting properties, and then shows a different type of lamp (pictured below), one of which more associated with the traditional ones that you'd see in the books and old artwork.

Among some of the more outrageous claims: "The power of this genie lamp might be too powerful for u to handle, so please be sure that u are well prepared."

Thankfully, most people are ruled by common sense and won't often buy into the claims like this. But then, it only takes one...

NEW HEMINGWAY Animal Print Luxury Bed in a Bag Cal King

Okay, really slim pickings in the bizarre file in eBay today, so, I just bring you mildly tacky instead of bizarre. But, if you believe everything you read, you too can save yourself hundreds of dollars and purchase this animal print bedding on eBay for under $40 (with shipping), vs. the retail price of $450.00.

Something like this is often a little bit suspect, and also you'd have to be very careful about how they word stuff. They say "comparable," which doesn't necessarily mean that it's the exact same item that would normally retail for over $400. Plus, what's there to say that the $400+ bedding set would include more things (ie: higher thread count, more pillow cases, etc.) than the one in the listed set?

Caveat emptor, as always, folks. Proceed and bid with caution.

Financial Accounting And Reporting by Joyce A. Straw...

With the search engine on eBay, it's not the most intelligent. Say, I'm looking for financial reporting software, and I punch in keywords to that effect, it'll spit out anything but. Possibly because eBay isn't the best place to get services like that, unless you're really really desperate.

What it spat out instead was a listing for an old business text book from 2004. The seller is offering it for $27.45 (buy it now price), plus $8.75 shipping. I was about to gripe about the shipping charge, and considering that it's a fairly hefty volume, it's fairly reasonable. But, considering the fact that textbooks are replaced on a semester-by-semester basis, one can be pretty sure that this book will be pretty out of date.

Otherwise, eBay is a pretty good resource for those selling and buying used textbooks for post-secondary education. Considering the exhorbant prices charged by University book stores and the absolute pitiful buy-back prices on textbooks, this is probably a better deal than you could get from a University book store (either through the buy-back program or purchasing used). But then, the book is 3 years old.

VTG WATCH LOT 9 BULOVA HAMILTON ETC..G6

On eBay, you can get Hamilton watches, or watches from any other company, for that matter. However, the likelihood of getting a good price is inversely proportional to the number of questions that you should be asking about the product.

As a result, this lot of 9 watches sans straps, and not even in working order, has received an opening bid of $4.99.

I dunno how good his English is, so you might have a ton of questions, but I'm not sure how truthful of an answer you'll get from "Where did you get them." Maybe the seller just "finds" them. Who knows.

Accidentz.com ACCIDENT Attorney Lawyer Legal Law WEB

Proving once again, it pays to pay attention to the listing. And, legitimate lawyers who are successful and will help you will not necessarily advertise through eBay.

So, you get in an accident and need someone that specializes, like say, a truck accident lawyer. While "accidentz.com" is a fairly easy-to-remember domain name, I'd prefer to be a little more discriminating when it comes to hiring help for such an important case.

Domain squatting (aka cybersquatting) is an old practice that has long since ceased to become profitable. Some will remember the days when enterprising computer users would buy up domain names for well known companies that were a little slow to get on-line, then charge up the nose to these companies. But, when the only things that are available are the likes of "accidentz.com," it indicates that companies are a little more on the ball.

This guy is selling it for $299 USD...and that's the buy-it-now price.

Chris Farley BIRTH CERTIFICATE Saturday Night Live Star

This actually borders on somewhat tasteless, and we'll ignore the fact that this is improperly labeled as a "birth certificate," especially when the thing clearly says "deceased" on it.

For fans of the larger-than-life Saturday Night Live star Chris Farley, this is a morbid way to remember a well known comedian who had such memorable characters such as that guy who was "living in a van down by the river."

Allegedly, one of the more popular skits happened by accident. When Farley was in a rig that was intended to hoist him in the air, something when wrong and he ended up hanging there, suspended by the rope rig. For the next few minutes, he hung there and just told fat jokes while waiting for the crew to get him down.

But if you're looking for other types of memorabilia like home theater seating, so you can recreate the Live from New York experience, you can forget it. The audience seating is technically on loan from Yankees Stadium, as it was believed that the show was only going to be on the air for a short time. 20-something seasons later...

Depends Extra Absorbency Lg Underware 18 count

One of the byproducts of an aging population is that we have an increased need for incontinence supplies. So, if you too have problems keeping it in, you can buy products on eBay specifically for that. Heck, they have their own CATEGORY for that.

From the product description:

"New in Bag. From my father-in-laws estate. Depend underware [SIC] size large for waist 44 to 54 inches. 18 per bag. Absorbency Extra or Super Plus. Pull on and off. UPC# 36000-19272."

This guy is not really instilling much faith for me in the American public school system, especially when the correct spelling for the product is written on the FRICKIN' PACKAGE. Personally, if I was left with personal care supplies for special needs from a loved one, I'd be more inclined to donate it to the charity of my choice. The fact that he is trying to unload it on eBay leads me to believe that the seller didn't exactly win out in a big way when his father passed away.

Mortgage Broker TeleScript Generates60+Mortgage Leads

Shelley Levene: The leads are weak.
Blake: "The leads are weak." The f***ing leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years...
Dave Moss: What's your name?
Blake: F*** you. That's my name.

While they don't promise you the infamous Glengarry leads (easily one of the best films on the subject matter), this guy is claiming to be a mortgage and real estate broker who is selling a telemarketing script in order to generate more leads.

Having worked in sales ("it's a tough racket"), I don't envy the position that a lot of real estate types are in, although I'm not sure that telemarketing is nearly as effective as it used to be, especially with the advent of do-not-call lists.

Information sales on eBay sort of bother me, especially for something that could deal with an intangible thing that could easily be e-mailed. Methinks he's going to charge shipping for this.

And now a word from our sponsor...

As we take a break from trying to find Jesus Christ in a grilled cheese sandwich and people selling their virginity on eBay, we now take time to get a word from and for today’s sponsor, Canvas on Demand.

These guys are offering high-quality digital prints on mounted canvas, suitable for hanging on the surface of your choice (alas, actual hooks and anchors from which it can be hung are not included, so I ended up leaning mine over the fire place). The procedure is relatively simple. All the company requires is a digital image (ie: TIFF, JPG), and then provide the desired specifications (size, finish, digital image effects, etc.).

The version you are looking at is the basic canvas with no special options. Instead of submitting multiple photos and having them create a collage, I opted to create my own using Adobe Photoshop, and then submitted the .JPG. Those without computer skills can have their own collage created for a fee. While most would probably have one moment commemorated, for which this would be an ideal gift (ie: graduation, wedding, or anniversary gift), but I opted for multiple events.

Using the minimal options, a 16x20 print (pictured here) will run you about $89 USD, which is decent, although only time will tell if this will stand up to harsh light conditions, which customized frames are designed to do. However, given how “disposable” digital photography tends to be, this might not be such a big deal. At $89, you can still shop around, however, but then, mine was provided as a sample. But it’s a niiiiice sample.

OMICRON BARSTOOLS BAR STOOLS KITCHEN STOOLS SWIVEL NEW

If you want to see my nomination for worst eBay page layout, here it is.

Popular websites such as eBay and MySpace have given users a fair amount of leeway when it comes to designing ones own pages. Understandably, webpages have to fit a very specific template, but it's when users attempt to make their auction pages fit outside of the template, it makes the layouts a headache to read.

This eBay seller is moving future, more specifically, bar stools. The product seems to be fairly solid, and had this been incorporated into a series of webpages, could convey all the necessary information to tell of all the features, advantages, and benefits of the products in question. But, being that eBay doesn't allow for multiple pages on one item, we have to read it all at once.

But what the heck does Michaelangelo's David have to do with bar stools?

NEW PEN CAM DIGITAL CAMERA / WEBCAM / CAMCORDER

No matter how good the price looks, ALWAYS check the shipping rate. Translation in clichéd terms that you've already heard: if it sounds to good to be true, gues what.

Looking for a digital camera? You've come to a good place. Not necessarily the RIGHT place, mind you, but it's a place nonetheless. Once you've gotten past the endless lists of people selling lists of camera wholesalers (usually a scam designed to make people think they are buying the actual item), they have off-brand trinkets like this one.

For $2.60, it sounds like a good deal, and the photos make it look like something that could quite literally fit in the palm of your hand. So, something that tiny should be pretty cheap to ship, right? Nope. Try over six times the startind bid price of the item.

Texas Bed & Breakfast by Ann Ruff, Gail Drago, Marji...

Yet another instance of my annoyance of eBay when trying to find truly bizarre crap, but instead I find reminders that eBay is largely a dumping ground for people trying to empty out their apartments for crap that nobody wants.

This enterprising individual is selling a guide to finding a good Texas Bed and Breakfast. For $0.29 (the Buy it Now Price), you can get a good tourist guide. That would have been great about 13 years ago.

With the advent of high-speed information, nothing is static, and printed and bound editions are obsolete. Suddenly, I'm reminded of a Simpsons episode where Bart and his friends are trying to find a state fair, only to find out that it's been closed for the past 20 years.

Orlando Kissimmee Disney Vacation Rental Home Villa

Yet again, a Orlando Rental home is huge on eBay, with some great values just waiting to be snapped up. I've always been curious about the level of amemities at rental facilities like hotels and the like, especially since you go to posh locations that are really heavily touristed.

This one in particular has most of the ammenities of HOME. In the list of all of the features, "This includes a large screen TV, DVD, VCR and Stereo system all for your entertainment pleasure." This is great, although I prefer not to go off to some foreign land and do what I usually do when I'm at home (surf the internet, watch TV, play video games).

Admittedly, after being out all day, the temptation to veg out in front of the tube would be pretty strong. But, it'd probably be more fun in a foreign country, when your favourite shows are now translated en Español.

GIRL FIGURE ACCESSORIES 1:18 diecast car truck anime 4

For race fans and those intrested in truck accessories (well, that's at least what eBay spat out when I punched in the keywords), we have what the eBay seller promises, that "they look so realistic that it adds an attractive addition to any collection."

Given that it's Japanese animation, doesn't that kinda negate the whole "realistic" angle? I'm a fan of anime art as much as the next guy, but one of the whole appeals of anime art is the level of cartoonishness. Women in general do not look like Major Motoko from Ghost in the Shell, and most Asian people don't have eyes as big as hard boiled eggs.

The eBayer goes on to state, "These Race Girls will have friends asking and admiring!" As these aren't necessarily based on licensed characters, it won't necessarily get me "admiring" per se. It will get me asking a lot of questions. Just not the ones the seller seems to intend.

Large Betty Ford Drug Rehab Clinic Beverly Hills

Yes, because drug rehabilitation happens to be a very fun experience, it's only fitting that someone is selling commemorative t-shirts for the event.

These shirts have been around for a while, although I suspect that the motive is more for poking fun at celebrities who end up falling off the wagon and into a whiskey truck, rather than every day folk for whom drug and alcohol problems can be more pronounced.

The comment was made in a Simpsons episode, where the family goes to New York and sees a musical journey of the Betty Ford Clinic, to which Bart comments that he wants to go to the Betty Ford Clinic when he grows up. Marge retorts for him to save up, given the costs.

DDR 200 pin Memory RAM for IBM Lenovo Thinkpad Computer

eBay is usually a pretty good spot for getting good deals on electronics and computer related products. This particular eBay seller is selling IBM memory modules for ThinkPad. Fairly competitively priced (okay, I'm just guessing because I'm feeling really lazy right now), but if you wonder where their profits are going, it's not into their market research.

eBay is comparable to MySpace in several respects, in that the fact that one has to conform to the company's templates, it is usually pretty difficult to put together clean layouts for pages. That, and you have a zillion 3rd party plugins and modules that one can add to their pages, it makes surfing on eBay a headache inducing experience.

This page in particular forces to you to listen to a pre-recorded audio clip. I frantically had to scroll down to the next page to find a way to turn it off. Not all pages have this option.

MTG - Unhinged Foil - Our Market Research x1 (NM)

I actually used to play this game quite a bit when I was younger, like when I didn't have responsibilities like jobs, student loans, rent, food, and the like to deal with. For those who are unaware, this is Magic the Gathering, a collectible card game from Wizards of the Coast. This is a huge time and money suck, as you have to constantly be purchasing cards in order to stay up-to-date.

They introduced two joke sets, "Unhinged" and "Unglued", where they had ridiculous cards that went outside of the regular game mechanics. Just a quick crash course: the objective of the game was to eliminate your opponents by running them out of cards or reducing their life points to 0, either through damage spells (ie: cast Lightning Bolt for 1 red mana for 3 damage) or creatures (summon Prodigal Sorcerer who can deal 1 damage).

The joke sets made it so you could do things like force your opponent to get you a drink, deal damage every time someone says "Sorry," or make a creature unstoppable if your opponent just happened to be wearing jeans. But, mostly the cards had a lot of inside jokes.

This one in particular (item #290117122217): "Our Market Research Shows that Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made This Card To Have The Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental."

USED HOME THEATER CHAIRS MOVIE THEATRE SEATING CINEMA

When I think of home theater seating, I typically think of a nice leather couch or recliner, something that I can sort of just lounge in while watching a DVD with my girlfriend or whatever. As much as the actual movie theater experience is nice, you can't do certain things like lie down while watching a movie.

But, for people with an exorbitantly large disposable income, there is the option of having actual movie theater style seats in the comfort of your own home, complete with seats that pop up when you get up to leave, so it's easier to get in and out.

But why is it that I can't shake the feeling that when this person is selling used home theatre chairs, they weren't manufactured specifically for household use, but actually for public use?

Admittedly, this seat is way too clean to have ever been in an actual public movie theater, there's that, there is that letter "G" that was embossed and bolted to the side of the chair...

Custom Digital Photo Enlargement Poster Print / Art

Since I've been interested in obtaining photo enlargement services, I decided to go on eBay to see what was available. Yes, indeed, you can get just about everything on eBay, even getting your photos blown up to poster size.

But as always, there are certain caveats to any service. As the eBay listing (item #170123464661) states...

• Do not have the content we believe is abusive, deceptive pornographic, obscene, defamatory, slanderous, offensive, or otherwise inappropriate.
• Do not have the copyrighted material that is used without the express permission of the owner.
• Do not have the content that violates or encroaches on the rights of others.
• Do not have the content that advocates illegal activity.
• Do not have the content that harms minors in any way.

Some of this stuff should pretty much go without saying, and it would probably make sense that the seller wants to protect his own interests as much as possible. Hence, nothing potentially illegal, subject to copyright, etc., would expectedly be verboten. But, seriously, folks...if you were doing anything that could get you in a lot of trouble, wouldn't it be really, REALLY counterproductive to get a depiction of the act blown up to poster size? Stuff like that is guaranteed to get you dumbest criminal status.

PLASTIC STATUE, St. Joseph, Patron Saint of Real Estate

For believers in the faith, religion can be a useful resource, whether to provide some level of solace, for a social network, for moral and spiritual guidance, and the like.

Patron saints are also a concept of Christianity, with one dedicated for various professions and nations, and in some cases, diseases. I'm not kidding...St. Vitalis of Assissi is the patron saint of "sicknesses and diseases affecting the genitals." Being that certain patron saints are designated by how they died or were martyred, my research stopped there.

Professions, however, would make a lot more sense, although it would probably be expected that it would be for "traditional" occupations such as doctors or builders or farmers. Not something like real estate.

This guy is selling statuettes of St. Joseph (item #170122854181), the Patron Saint of Real Estate. Obviously, it's intended as a joke, although I did some research just to make sure. St. Joseph of Arimathea (not to be confused with St. Joseph of Nazareth, the adopted father of Jesus Christ), is one biblical figure, noted as the patron saint of funeral directors. However, one could actually argue real estate, though -- he donated his tomb to Jesus Christ after his crucifixion.

Buy my student Loans Feel like a student again

For those who would like to be paying off their debts after finishing school sooner and faster, a valid option is always student loan consolidation. In Canada, we go through a slightly different system with the USA, especially since mine was through the government, although was set up through a financial institution.

But, if you're REALLY lazy or hard up, there's this option (item #220121229674).

Not exactly the first thing that would be recommended by financial planners and advisers, this allows eBay to be used to launch some sort of emotional appeal to the general readership who would find this stuff amusing. Considering what some people have been known to put up, it's not completely surprising (although I can't shake the feeling that someone's done this before).

The gist of the auction is that this guy is attempting to auction off his student loan debt (right now at $140,000 US), which is quite a hefty sum, and several times more than most peoples' pre-taxes salaries fresh out of school (based on the image, it might be presumable that he went to law school...after reading this, I think it's safe to say that he didn't go to business school, and based on the title of his auction, he definitely wasn't an English major). Many other nations offer free higher education, and considering what a lot of undergrads get out of it, would probably be a better option, depending on the field.

He is beckoning for the likes of Golden Palace to sponsor him. Good luck, man.

Swiss Army Watch (Wenger) Sting Ray S.A.K. Design

With a zero feedback rating (okay, I'm only at about 6 right now, because I haven't bought a ton of things on eBay lately), I'll make some provisions for the fact that this guy is new and he's pretty new to eBay. But come on, man, can you at least put the frickin' thing in FOCUS?!

As it is, the only thing that's keeping this from getting lost in a sea of brand new Swiss Army Watches is the low starting price of the product itself. Barring the fact that the watch is in need of a replacement strap and a battery, under $10 is probably not too bad of a deal (although I don't even wanna know what he's gonna charge for shipping).

However, I'm curious as to how he was able to break the watch strap after only wearing the watch twice. I'm just saying, that's all.

BLUE RIDGE MTNS NORTH CAROLINA Timeshare 2 BDM RED WK

I guess in this case, it's "why buy when you can rent"?

Instead of buying your own piece of Blue Ridge real estate, you can have a piece of a time share. After the major backlash from consumer groups, there seems to be fewer of these popping around. Thankfully, during my little vacation to Mexico last year, I didn't get pressured into taking one of these, although I sure as heck could've been a lot smarter when it came to bargaining at the shops. They take one look at you and know that you aren't from around there. Kinda sad, actually.

But, now with the advent of online, it's a little easier, and with the advent of eBay, it's now more optional (ie: you can tune out if you don't want).

Yet another eBay annoyance.

This is the equivalent of eBay spam. All you have to do is go into the "something else" category and you'll find nothing but eBooks and wholesale lists for sale. Much of these appear to be originating from the same seller, as the text is identical in each auction. In this case, it's all stuff about beating speeding tickets and wholesale lists for radar detectors.

Well, barring the fact that you could just as easily OBEY THE FRICKIN' LAW and drive safely and carefully, or at least keep up with traffic flow if obeying the posted speed limits would lead to obstructing traffic, there is to be made money in these things.

I'm curious as to how much money these auctions have made, though, especially since the column indicates that there have been no bids on any of the items listed. It very much seems to indicate that there is an automated bot set up to automatically put up auctions so they don't have to be monitored by the seller.

Orlando Conv. Vacation on Location Sydney NRFB SIgned

Evidently, it doesn't take that much to get a convention going these days.

So, you get time off to go to your Orlando vacation, and you're not going to Disneyworld, you're going to buy and look at DOLLS?!

While Barbie Dolls are strict collector's items for a lot of people, I'm not familiar with the product that is offered by this seller. The sculptor, Robert Tonner, is apparently a big enough name that his autograph on the product is a selling feature.

Additional research indicates that they do dead-on likenesses of characters for feature films such as Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean. However, I guess this is no different from major comic book conventions in San Diego.

LOOKING FOR THE DIET PILL PHENTERMINE? READ ON..

Caveat emptor is the repeated mantra throughout this blog, even doubly so for anything that you'll be putting into your system such as drugs, supplements, and medication.

However, there is thankfully a lot of material to aid you on your search for information on whatever you're interested in knowing. However, I know better than to use stuff that I bought from eBay to give me information, especially when there are tons of other resources that don't require the use of a paypal account.

Phentermine (alternately spelt "phentirmine") is a weight loss supplement which is a controlled substance in some regions, and has also been combined with fenfluramine to create Fen-Phen, which was proven to be an effective weight loss supplement. Too bad that the users had a tendency to develop heart valve disease.

But anywho, this eBayer is selling an eBook about everything you needed to know about diet pills (item #180125095493). I guess this is good for people who don't know what a library is.

9 ORIGINAL BIC® ORANGE™ PENS FROM JAPAN + FREE STICKER

But they're just...pens...

I really had no idea that there existed a secondary market for such a disposable item. I have a theory about life in general, in that there are two things that you can go your entire life without ever having to buy ballpoint pens and t-shirts. As businesses will be constantly cranking out promotional materials with their branding on them, you can be assured that you will never be in need of a writing implement.

But, just don't tell this guy. (item #170117584295)

While I used to lose these things all the time while I was in school, according to this auction, old Bic Pens with the yellow-orange plastic are fairly rare and collectible items.

Now that I think of it, it's been a while since I've seen yellow-orange stick pens, as it seems more likely that you'll be finding the ones with the cheap clear plastic that cracks and breaks if you're not careful. Or, at least that's what happened to the ones I had when I was younger.

However, don't expect the packaging to look like this...it's a nicely rendered graphic, though.

Web Conferencing Room Newest VOIP Technology Free Trial

Um...if it's a free trial, why is it at a starting bid of $0.99? Doesn't that kind of go against the whole idea of "free"?

Web conferencing is one of the biggest things in telecommunications these days, although I still have to scratch my head when I think that major businesses will feel the need to save a few bucks by going on eBay and picking up the first thing they see.

I made a point of viewing the seller's multimedia presentation. I'll gloss over the fact that a lot of the special features that are in this software that this guy is selling (item #260100540792) can also be found in Windows Live Messenger, which can be downloaded for free. But I will point out the fact that the announcer they chose sounds like he has a really bad cold.

4 Piece Barney Sheet Set For Twin Bed-No Handling Fees!

Just when you thought it was safe, we have kids bedding for the easily pacified.

Some people may remember the character featured on this product (item #230136774401) as the seemingly conspicuous children's show host from the mid-90s, which was outmoded by the likes of the Teletubbies before the new millennium. When he was in his in his heyday, so was all of the virulent venom spewed towards the titular purple dinosaur.

Some of the Anti-Barney humour was fairly amusing, although it got fairly trite fairly fast. However, I will admit to getting into the act...we were required to put brown paper covers in order to allow our textbooks to last longer. I drew a picture of Barney with a severed head at his feet, with blood spraying out of the arteries.

1948 scary fire death horseman National Insurance ad

Not quite "death insurance" per se, this product (item #180125791705) seems to imply that they've succesfully found ways to insure against the other things that were foretold as part of the apocalypse: death, famine, war, and pestilence. Or, maybe they're just using what they've referred to as FUAD - Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt - to promote their products.

Stuff like this always interests me, bringing to mind the classic adage of trash and treasure.

PAINTBALL BULK TRANSFER TANK

For $199, you too can be breathing funny or shooting people whenever you want.

This guy is selling a paintball transfer tank, which would be useful, if I felt the need to go out and randomly shoot people. I'm not particularly good at paintball...those things can break skin at close range if you're not careful. I still have a scar on my upper arm from getting shot up close.

That probably wasn't as bad as the time that I walked right into a tree because my visor fogged up. That sucked.

Bulgaria REVENUE 1939 INSURANCE DEATH Member book

Now this is fairly morbid (item #5637496524). Or, at least it would be, if I could figure out what the hell it was.

I'm not exactly sure what this is...it either seems to be a paper denoting death insurance or it's some sort of death certificate. As I can't read the script in which the text is written, and the vendor provided such a limited description, I'm sort of at a loss.

The vendor in question sells mostly used stamps and the like, but since this is in the form of a booklet, it may be some sort of a passport, or something.

Or something.

Rare Mainframe Computer Core Memory

Next in the category of "You know you're getting old when...", we have computer memory for a mainfraim computer core (item #290113646002).

This is a memory board that contains 17 16kb chips. In recent computer terms, 16kb of memory is piddly. As it stands, the .JPG file on the left is 32kb in size alone, which would probably suggest that the item in question wouldn't be able to be used to process the webpage alone.

But, it's a relic of course, which is why the seller is marketing it as a decorative piece. Hence, the words, "great for framing." However, one would probably need a custom frame for that -- I imagine that most things that are actually "great for framing" are usually the thickness of paper.

100 CLEAN GOLF BALLS USED RANGE ,GOOD COND.

This guy is selling a bunch of used golf balls of various brands (Top Flyte, Pinnacle...he didn't say if Callaway Golf was included or not). I'm not sure as to why he decided to list it under "Something Else" as opposed to sporting equipment, although this might have something to do with it...

Okay, this joke has really been done to death, although I'm not sure if this is the result of unclear diction or it was supposed to be a joke on the part of the golf course owner. Although if he's selling them for that cheap, you gotta wonder where he got them.

Spinning Love Swing and Stand! Furniture, Swing Stand

It took me a few minutes to figure out exactly what this guy was selling (#180112598802 ).

Sometimes finding stuff on eBay can be a bit tricky if you aren't specific enough. Broad topics such as "home furniture" will probably get you what you want, although you'll likely have to wade through tons and tons of entries.

But every so often, you'll get something that you probably won't find anywhere else. Case in point.

Me, I'm a firm believer that whatever one does in the privacy of their own home, behind closed doors, is their business, and their business alone. But, when you start labeling items like this as "furniture," it sort of exposes things like this a little more than what other people are used to.

Fishing Wedding Cake Topper, Coleman Lantern Lights Up

In this case, the words "fishing tackle" take on a slightly different meaning.

While I could think of a lot more inappropriate ways that one could decorate a wedding cake (especially considering how family oriented the event tends to be), this item (#190109789436) is something that would be ideal for the right type of couple, just like everything else on eBay.

Some fishermen also carry around a club type object for the purpose of rendering the fish unconscious to make it easier to catch. Unfortunately, the seller didn't show all angles of the figure, although someone more crafty and ingenious wouldn't have too hard of a time putting one in the bride's hand...

Stock Market Software

It very much seems that eBay is largely a reflection on the state of internet communications today. Much like your spam e-mail box will be inundated with endless solicitations for get-rich-quick schemes and sexual dysfunction cures, so is eBay.

Those who are interested in the stock market will find everything from forecasting software to stock analysis software. The quality of it can be...well, it's hard to say. Just type in "stock market software" into eBay's search engine and it'll spit out over a dozen entries, all seemingly stemming from the same person. Click on the wrong one, and your browser will crash.

As always, it's caveat emptor when ever stuff like this shows up, because you honestly have no idea.

GORGEOUS QUILTED MAGGIB KIWI BLOSSOM BIBLE COVER NEW

When using terms to describe the items you're selling, it's very tempting to toss in extremely subjective buzzwords that mean absolutely nothing to anyone else except the person who's selling it.

Like this auction in particular (item #130106852996).

Certainly a useful item if you're interested in protecting reading material from the elements. That, and Catholic bibles typically hold a certain level of sentimental value for believers in the faith (although despite going to Catholic school, these were routinely dispensed items that didn't really hold a lot of sentimental value).

But describing this as "gorgeous"? Something that's day-blue turquoise and green and can be seen from a mile away? Whatever happened to worship, praise, and prayer being something that'd done privately?

Orlando Disney Vacation Rental 4BR POOL Home SLEEPS 8+

Vacation homes have become extremely prolific on eBay, especially those in Orlando, FL, where the use of Walt Disney's name is used as a main selling feature. However, considering the level of litigation that the Disney company has engaged in over the years, it's surprising that they haven't decided to take a piece of the action, especially when the seller just happens to go by the name "mouselovers."

But, a Disney vacation home that sleeps 6 in a 3-bedroom (item #320108735305)? Pfft. Amateurs. If you've seen a standard 3-bedroom house after a teenager's party, you'll quickly realize that it can sleep significantly more than 6, especially when you start making inventive use of the kitchen counter, the bathtub, and the front entrance.