4 inch SATIN NICKEL HOUSE NUMBER 8 or DOOR NUMBER 8

So, if you were considering getting a house marker, but didn't want the added expense of having something custom made, you also have the option of getting each number individually (item #150105861497).

One slight problem, though. Since each number is available individually, if you want certain digits, but certain ones sell out faster (ie: your house number has about four consecutive 5's), you might be in a bit of a bind. To the seller's credit, they are choosing the "buy it now" option as mandatory, rather than the open bid, which means that you have a better chance of completing your number set.

However, the seller probably shoulda been paying a little more attention: the photo and the title of the auction indicates that they'll be getting a #8, while the body text of the auction indicates that they'll get #0.

1965 Simmons Hide A Bed Sleeper Sofa ad

This person is selling an ad for sleeper sofas. No. He's not selling ad SPACE, he's selling an ad from an old magazine from 1965. That's right. He's selling the ACTUAL AD (item #260098333224).

It's "suitable for framing," yet it's a double page spread that clearly did not occur within the center spread pages of a magazine, which means that it has to be split in two.

This may be of limited value to a lot of people (as it is, visit the user's eBay store and there's a long list of items that have ZERO bid on them). However, this isn't to say that he isn't selling stuff...anything that has images of celebrities can garner some interest. But, I would probably estimate that less than 2% of his auctions have garnered interest.

For people with VERY specific design tastes, it might have some use, such as if you are running a period diner and you want to have framed print ads from the 50s and 60s, or say if you are running a car repair place and you want to have pictures of old car ads. But pictures of COUCHES?! With a split down the middle?

Clearly, the seller is taking a bit of a shotgun approach, and it very much appears that these are old magazines that he had lying around the house and he thought he could turn it around.

Blue First Holy Communion party favors candy wrappers

Well, they already wrecked Christmas, Easter, and Valentines' Day with crass commercialism. It was only a matter of time that they started going after the holy first communion.

When I was seven, first communion gifts were fairly standard. Outside of maybe a rosary or a prayer book, my family kept it pretty simple, and I'm pretty sure that the other kids in my class had the same deal (ie: fairly simple).

And now we have this (item #130090988518).

I'll admit that it's been a really long time since I regularly went to church. Come to think of it, the last three times I was in a church (under my own free will) was for two weddings and a funeral. But even for those that aren't a member of the faith...doesn't this come across as, well, a little excessive?

For strong and devout believers of the faith, this is a really big deal. But, shouldn't a keepsake be a little bit more permanent? ie: something that's NOT edible? And, considering that one isn't supposed to be eating one hour before celebrating the Eucharist, is food really such a good idea?

But hey, if you just happen to have $10 USD burning a hole in your wallet and you can't be bothered to do it yourself...

Does Ephedrasil Work? You Bet! Best Diet Pill Reviews!

Well, at least according to some diet review published somewhere (the seller actually doesn't say where), he might have the most effective weight loss product on eBay (item #300055207517).

Or not.

If you've seen one of these things, you've pretty much seen them all...ads with miracle pills guaranteeing fast weight loss with minimal side effects.

The common thread with these products is that they have tons and tons of caffeine to stimulate your metabolism, but it's really not good for you at all.

Considering that people have DIED from purchasing pharmaceutical products online, purchasing a "controversial weight loss phenomenon" online probably isn't a good idea either.

Funny thing...the seller claims to have under 100 bottles left, after which, the product will no longer be available. Take a closer look at the screen: as of this writing, there are 119 available.

Somehow, I can't stop thinking of that time I was in the mall and they were selling this one product that would be selling at $19.95 for ONE DAY ONLY. The same sign was there the next day. And the day after that...and the day after that...

LAS VEGAS NEVADA NV SIN REMOVER humor three 3 monkeys

So, you went to Nevada, blew all your money at the poker table and so you couldn't buy a piece of Las Vegas Real Estate. But, that's still no guarantee that whatever happens in Vegas will stay there, but here's your chance (item #5666344845).

While humour appreciation will vary from person to person, this may make a good gag gift. But, it's fairly low-brow and is even takes the well-worn cliché as used by the Vegas tourism board, but the effort is admirable.

Mind you, I'm not sure what effect having the slightly creepy looking guy in the background of the photo is supposed to have. The seller runs his own eBay store, "Daddy Sold My Toys" and is selling a bunch of these novelty bottles, all with different labels on them.

2 CHEERIO'S FROM UNDER MY COUCH

If you sell it, they will bid.

No, they will not.

Whether your living room decor consists of sectional sofas, love seats, or couches, you can be guaranteed that weird crap will fall into the cracks, like change. This can instantly add resale value to whatever it is you're selling. But this person isn't actually selling the furniture itself, but they're selling the crap that fell into the cracks.

Lo and behold... (item #130090882009)

The seller claims that his son (pictured left) wants to go to college and loves to learn how to save money. But, the first thing he's going to buy with it is a book about the movie Cars. While I internally debate on the long-term practicality of the purchase, it's not really for me to decide. On the other hand, I don't see how purchasing this book will necessarily get him any closer to his dream of academic achievement.

As it stands, with an opening bid of $0.01 USD and absolutely zero bids (as of this posting), I don't think that his college fund is going to be growing by any great degree right away, especially since he's offering free shipping. As eBay takes a certain percentage of a sale, it'll be even less. I've always been curious as to what the eBay fee schedule is like when the item goes for exactly one penny.

If the child in question does go to college, I hope that he develops grammar skills that are better than his parents. When nouns are pluralized, they do NOT have a possessive apostrophe. IE: it's "Cheerios," not "Cheerio's."

Addendum, April 4th, 2007. Whaddaya know...he actually got a winning bid of $4.

No Antique Toys Postcards or Dolls Just Fresh Dog Poop

Considering that you're technically not supposed to use the municipal sewage system to get rid of waste, I'm seriously thinking that this auction (item #140095668962) may be illegal and a violation of eBay's terms of service.

Because one look at this auction, and I just gotta ask, WHY GOD WHY?!

Yes siree, this guy is selling dog supplies. Or, more specifically, dog food. Or, even MORE specifically, dog food that has passed through his pet's digestive track.

To his credit, he is completely honest about what he's getting, and he's not sending this through the US postal system (which I imagine is probably illegal too). But daaaaaaamn...

UNDER THE BED RESTRAINT SYSTEM RESTRAINTS SPORTSSHEETS

If you're looking for a way to discipline your children, I can't possibly think of a better accessory for a kids bed.

Okay, okay. I'm kidding. And, considering that there have been parents that have been known to attempt this on occasion, I probably shouldn't joke about that either.

More for those who were looking to put a little extra oomph into their relationships, there is the Under the Bed Restraint (item #290091724659), which is fairly self-explanatory.

What slightly worries me is the fact that one of the key selling features of the item is that it's "portable and travel sized."

But, if you weren't convinced by the customer testimonial, there's a video for you to watch.

DRUG REP ULTRAM ER STAND UP STAPLER

While you might not be able to find generic Ultram drugs on eBay (or even non-generics, for that matter), you can certainly find their swag (item #220091769622).

But why should we buy it?

This brings to mind the huge amount of debate regarding the prevalence of pharmaceutical companies and generic drugs, and the controversies related to them. After all, the pharmaceutical industry is huge, huge business. For those who pay attention to the controversies, or have at least watched The Constant Gardener, it's something that can have a number of moral and ethical dilemmas.

Ultram, the trademarked name for Tramadol, is an analgesic, although it has properties of a narcotic. Hence, it is mostly only available by prescription.

But, as to this item? For all intents and purposes, it's probably a really good stapler. But, considering that it's a freebie branded item that's doled out by pharmaceutical companies in order to persuade doctors into prescribing more of their products (which are typically more expensive and just as effective as generic drugs), it's not something I really support.

Salvia Extract #5 Limited Time Sample Deal! Free Ship!!

When looking up portable water filters on eBay, it ended up spitting out this (item #330098005519).

Wow, far-out, man.

This is by far one of the most atrociously-written eBay auctions ever. I don't even know what this product is supposed to be.

From what I gathered from the auction itself, "OUR product is Just Pure Salvinorian (sic) A placed on to (sic) organicly (sic) grown plain leaf"

According to some minor research, this is an incredibly powerful hallucinogen, which just happens to be legal within many parts of the United States. And, with some more research, the seller actually spelled it wrong: it's actually "Salvinorin A." But, considering that the seller isn't even aware that "onto" is one word, not two, I guess I should probably cut him a bit of slack.

But then, it really appears that he was under the influence of Salvinorin A when he wrote this. Just take a look at the subhead of his auction: "Standardized! Very Diffrent (sic) From What Others Sell."

If it were standardized, wouldn't that make it the same thing as what other people are selling?

Ab Sonic- Electronic Muscle Exercise and Toning Belt

Hey, anybody remember seeing this one (item #250093860789) on late night TV?

Yes, for those interested in weight loss but not interested in making any sort of life-long commitment to healthy eating and regular exercise, we have an electro-stimulating belt that claims to cause muscle contractions to essentially replace sit-ups.

For $8.95, the seller favorably compares this product against the AbTronic, which once retailed for $59.95 (at least according to his auction.

But then, considering that the actual AbTronic was recalled by the company, and the fact that it got the company in trouble with the Federal Trade Commission and was forced to stop selling the product as a result, I guess this isn't saying very much, except that you're still getting ripped off, but by less. And, if you purchase multiple belts (and trust me, the seller has lots), you can combine shipping.

Immigration Attorney: A Lawyer for an Initial Consult

Wow, you really can sell anything on eBay. For $50, you too can have the services of an immigration lawyer (item #190088182966). Given the rate that some lawyers charge, $50 probably isn't that bad, although you might not be able to get the guy for very long. Considering the number votes and his feedback rating (zero and zero, respectively), this might not be the most ideal venue for one to advertise their services.

Perhaps he might be able to get you a cut rate on DNA testing for immigration. Or not.

Florida Disney Orlando Resort Condo Rent March 17-24

Hey, anybody feeling like doing the world a public service?

For $595.00, you can rent Orlando condos for your next vacation (item #140092296609), which is close to Disneyworld. And, if you're really lucky, you'll run into this guy.

For those too lazy to read, breaks down like this: a guy named Frank D. Atherton has a criminal history including armed robbery and burglary. He was accused of three counts of child molestation, and in some stroke of logic, he was granted bail and permission to go to Disneyworld.

Okay, okay, the operative word in the article was "accusation," not "conviction," so he should be allowed to do what he wants, but you gotta admit, this looks really, really bad for the judge, especially considering that the terms of his bail conditions include NOT having contact with children. Disneyworld is frequented by children.

Any time real estate rentals or sales involves Orlando, Florida, Disneyworld is constantly used as a selling point. For vigilantes, they could start adding one more.

TRY PURE HOODIA PLUS FOR A PENNY - JUST PAY SHIPPING!

Having thoroughly trashed hoodia gordonii in a previous blog entry, I'm not going to debunk the health effects, instead, just another reason why the shipping charges are always bogus on eBay.

So, for 1 penny, you too can be the owner of a bottle of pills that may make you go of the way of Anna Nicole Smith (item #150098922181). Just pay $8.50 in shipping for it. Looking on-line, indeed, a 90-capsule bottle of Hoodia Gordonii goes for about $49.95.

Yes, sounds like a pretty good deal, although considering that at least one report suggests that 80% of hoodia products available are fake...

MEMORY STICK DUO PRO CARD 4GB WHOLESALE LIST DISCOUNT

Lesson #23561. Read the auction very carefully (item #330095694331).

If you're looking for a computer memory upgrade or you want to store more pictures on your camera, eBay has just about everything you want. Even how to get it cheaper than you could possibly buy it on eBay.

eBay seems to have been excessively inundated with auctions such as these. Considering that the products are not actually tangible, it's an easy sale for anybody. No shipping required, as the item is information, which is transmissible through e-mail or the web.

Most of these information auctions have few votes on them, although these things make it harder to search for things when they're just everywhere. I strongly suspect spambots that are setting these up, especially since the seller added some code to make it so the images can't be downloaded (I had to use screen capture and Photoshop to get the image).

I'm wondering how many people placed bids, thinking that they were going to be getting an actual memory stick. I still remember that one time the person was selling a Playstation 2 box. As in an empty cardboard box without the Sony Playstation 2 in it.

America's Favorite Bed & Breakfast New York

If you auction it, they will bid. Or not.

For the buy-it-now price of $0.75 and shipping that's about four times the cost of the item itself, you can be the proud owner a used book with outdated information (item #150016051701).

When I went to New York, I didn't opt for a New York bed and breakfast, instead going sharing a three-star with three other guys. This was in 2003, a much different New York than it was when the book was published, oh, about, ten years ago. Since then, the information has changed rapidly.

On the other hand, most of the changes occurred within the NYC area, as there is a lot more to New York than NYC. But TEN YEARS?!

I realize that the motivation for being on eBay is to make money, especially considering the fact that the shipping is over four times the price of the item, but the unfortunate thing is that items with minimal value really make eBay harder to navigate.

Set of 2 Ladder Rack NR

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to laugh at this one (item #170089083603) or not.

This eBay seller refers to themselves as Bargainland, who prides themselves on selling really cheap crap.

Even THEY admit that their stuff might not even work, as said on their "Caveat Emptor" page:

Bargainland is unable to spend a great deal of time testing and checking each item beyond a casual observation of the physical condition and, in some cases, whether or not the unit powers on (if it is electrical).

Yet somehow, they've been able to attain almost 200,000 feedbacks from their auctions, and with 90.1% positive feedback (as of this writing), they must be selling something good. Surprisingly, most of their negative feedback ratings come from people who didn't get their item, not by people who were given something that was broken.

But, considering that they can't even be bothered to figure out this even an actual ladder rack, I'd bid very carefully. But I'm a little concerned when they say that the item is sold as is...take a closer look at that photo and there is a lot of weird miscellaneous debris lying around.

And I love how their slogan: "Bargainland: Where low prices come first and customer services comes second." You can't beat truth in advertising like that.

Leptopril Non-Ephedra Weight Control 190 caps.01/2009

Given the controversy over the use of ephedra and the banning of the substance in professional sports, it's only natural that some products will have NON-ephedra as a label. Ephedra is a stimulant product that boosts metabolism, increases energy, and aids in weight loss. And it's been linked to the deaths of professional athletes and is now labeled as a controlled substance. Now we have something called Leptopril (item #330094248438).

This is supposedly the generic version of Leptorpin, which is actually made by the same company. While the product is supposedly intended to induce weight loss, some have had some pretty bad reactions.

And the beauty of it...the product is actually based on what's known as the ECA stack - Ephedra, Caffeine, and Aspirin. Perhaps this is based on the OTHER version.

Either way...

"The FTC alleges that the respondents violated the FTC Act by making unsubstantiated fat and weight loss claims, false claims that clinical testing proves certain efficacy claims, and false claims that Daniel B. Mowrey, Ph.D, is a medical doctor."

Better hit that treadmill, folks.