PAINTBALL BULK TRANSFER TANK

For $199, you too can be breathing funny or shooting people whenever you want.

This guy is selling a paintball transfer tank, which would be useful, if I felt the need to go out and randomly shoot people. I'm not particularly good at paintball...those things can break skin at close range if you're not careful. I still have a scar on my upper arm from getting shot up close.

That probably wasn't as bad as the time that I walked right into a tree because my visor fogged up. That sucked.

Bulgaria REVENUE 1939 INSURANCE DEATH Member book

Now this is fairly morbid (item #5637496524). Or, at least it would be, if I could figure out what the hell it was.

I'm not exactly sure what this is...it either seems to be a paper denoting death insurance or it's some sort of death certificate. As I can't read the script in which the text is written, and the vendor provided such a limited description, I'm sort of at a loss.

The vendor in question sells mostly used stamps and the like, but since this is in the form of a booklet, it may be some sort of a passport, or something.

Or something.

Rare Mainframe Computer Core Memory

Next in the category of "You know you're getting old when...", we have computer memory for a mainfraim computer core (item #290113646002).

This is a memory board that contains 17 16kb chips. In recent computer terms, 16kb of memory is piddly. As it stands, the .JPG file on the left is 32kb in size alone, which would probably suggest that the item in question wouldn't be able to be used to process the webpage alone.

But, it's a relic of course, which is why the seller is marketing it as a decorative piece. Hence, the words, "great for framing." However, one would probably need a custom frame for that -- I imagine that most things that are actually "great for framing" are usually the thickness of paper.

100 CLEAN GOLF BALLS USED RANGE ,GOOD COND.

This guy is selling a bunch of used golf balls of various brands (Top Flyte, Pinnacle...he didn't say if Callaway Golf was included or not). I'm not sure as to why he decided to list it under "Something Else" as opposed to sporting equipment, although this might have something to do with it...

Okay, this joke has really been done to death, although I'm not sure if this is the result of unclear diction or it was supposed to be a joke on the part of the golf course owner. Although if he's selling them for that cheap, you gotta wonder where he got them.

Spinning Love Swing and Stand! Furniture, Swing Stand

It took me a few minutes to figure out exactly what this guy was selling (#180112598802 ).

Sometimes finding stuff on eBay can be a bit tricky if you aren't specific enough. Broad topics such as "home furniture" will probably get you what you want, although you'll likely have to wade through tons and tons of entries.

But every so often, you'll get something that you probably won't find anywhere else. Case in point.

Me, I'm a firm believer that whatever one does in the privacy of their own home, behind closed doors, is their business, and their business alone. But, when you start labeling items like this as "furniture," it sort of exposes things like this a little more than what other people are used to.

Fishing Wedding Cake Topper, Coleman Lantern Lights Up

In this case, the words "fishing tackle" take on a slightly different meaning.

While I could think of a lot more inappropriate ways that one could decorate a wedding cake (especially considering how family oriented the event tends to be), this item (#190109789436) is something that would be ideal for the right type of couple, just like everything else on eBay.

Some fishermen also carry around a club type object for the purpose of rendering the fish unconscious to make it easier to catch. Unfortunately, the seller didn't show all angles of the figure, although someone more crafty and ingenious wouldn't have too hard of a time putting one in the bride's hand...

Stock Market Software

It very much seems that eBay is largely a reflection on the state of internet communications today. Much like your spam e-mail box will be inundated with endless solicitations for get-rich-quick schemes and sexual dysfunction cures, so is eBay.

Those who are interested in the stock market will find everything from forecasting software to stock analysis software. The quality of it can be...well, it's hard to say. Just type in "stock market software" into eBay's search engine and it'll spit out over a dozen entries, all seemingly stemming from the same person. Click on the wrong one, and your browser will crash.

As always, it's caveat emptor when ever stuff like this shows up, because you honestly have no idea.

GORGEOUS QUILTED MAGGIB KIWI BLOSSOM BIBLE COVER NEW

When using terms to describe the items you're selling, it's very tempting to toss in extremely subjective buzzwords that mean absolutely nothing to anyone else except the person who's selling it.

Like this auction in particular (item #130106852996).

Certainly a useful item if you're interested in protecting reading material from the elements. That, and Catholic bibles typically hold a certain level of sentimental value for believers in the faith (although despite going to Catholic school, these were routinely dispensed items that didn't really hold a lot of sentimental value).

But describing this as "gorgeous"? Something that's day-blue turquoise and green and can be seen from a mile away? Whatever happened to worship, praise, and prayer being something that'd done privately?

Orlando Disney Vacation Rental 4BR POOL Home SLEEPS 8+

Vacation homes have become extremely prolific on eBay, especially those in Orlando, FL, where the use of Walt Disney's name is used as a main selling feature. However, considering the level of litigation that the Disney company has engaged in over the years, it's surprising that they haven't decided to take a piece of the action, especially when the seller just happens to go by the name "mouselovers."

But, a Disney vacation home that sleeps 6 in a 3-bedroom (item #320108735305)? Pfft. Amateurs. If you've seen a standard 3-bedroom house after a teenager's party, you'll quickly realize that it can sleep significantly more than 6, especially when you start making inventive use of the kitchen counter, the bathtub, and the front entrance.